Tick Tock Goes the Clock

It's no secret. Although it freaks some, or most, of my friends out when I talk about it, it is absolutely no secret that I want to start a family. My husband doesn't even have to ask anymore. When he sees me looking over his shoulder at something with a certain grin on my face, he turns to see what the infant/toddler that I'm looking at is doing. I'm very upset that my niece lives about 1500 miles from me in a place that costs $400 to fly to, and I will not get to watch her grow up on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis. Semi-annually would be quite an accomplishment. I do believe, as much as I hate the phrase, that my "biological clock" is very much ticking. Not Ally-McBeal-dancing-baby scary ticking, but it's audible, if not hallucination inducing.

Quite honestly, I'm not that suprised. My mother was 30 when I was born (I'm the oldest child in our family). I always assumed that I would have children at about that time, although for some reason I had 28 in my head. I think it may be that 30 just sounded terribly old to me when I was thinking about this at 21, and 28 seemed far enough away not to be an immediate threat. Well, I am either a psychic and can predict the future, or the human mind has a lot of power over the emotions. Because, here I am, 28 and wishing that I didn't have to make responsible decisions.

You see, I also really want to be able to work the next shuttle flight. Which they will not let me do if I'm anywhere near or shortly after giving birth. My bad luck to have a career that I love that is by necessity a bit inflexible on extended leave - not that I can't take extended leave, but I have to spend a couple months bringing my proficiency back up before they'll put anyone's life into my hands. Anyway, let's go Shuttle!

We just got back from an extended coke break. Why am I here again? Oh, right. No more vacation hours. Maybe I can talk someone into signing off the rest of my paperwork for certification this afternoon.