There's a Person in There!

I think we're on the cusp of the twins starting to get some personality. It's strange how one day they are just kind of little wiggly lumps with vacant eyes, and the next you see them give you a look and you're like "Dude! There's a person in there!"

Screecher is starting to lose his worried old man look in favor of curious little boy. Worried old man was funny, but I kind of like the one that makes him look like a baby more. He's still pretty quick to cry if he doesn't like how things are going. He has a pretty intense pre-cry pouty face, too.

Squeaker is just going to be a sweetheart, that's all there is to it. She makes cute little coos when she's comfy on your shoulder, and cute little squeaks when she's not liking the way things are going. She smiled a coulple times today, and we're debating whether they were almost real smiles or just gas. (If it's gas, she has cute gastrointestinal distress, too.) She didn't cry at all during her bath tonight, which is a relief. You'd think during those early weeks that bathtime is highly invasive baby torture from all the screaming. Still not getting any splashing so I think it's more about tolerating the torture better, but we'll get there.

Gavin says we should nickname Carina Screecher to go with the twins nicknames. She's definitely at that age. Although, I think it's cutest when she puts a finger to her lips and whispers "We have to be quiet, the babies are sleeping" in that over-exagerated 2-year-old way. She's loving the higher frequency of pizza nights that we've been having since the twins came home. She keeps charming the delivery people by jumping up and down at the door yelling "Yea, pizza! Yummy!"

I went to the mall today since it was rainy. I can't go more than 10 feet without having to stop and answer the same questions.

Yes, they're twins.
They're 8 weeks old.
They're fraternal - a boy and a girl.
They're going about 5 hours between feedings once a day.
Yes, I was surprised when I found out.
No, we don't have twins in either family.
No, they're not my first, I have a 2-year-old as well.
Yes, I have my hands full.

Slave Labor

Since I've received a few worried phone calls about the contents of the blog, I guess I'd better post something cheerful instead of just venting today.

Carina has really been taking to being a big sister, as we thought she would. She always wants to help and recently has decided she really likes washing baby bottles. Right after I snapped this picture, Gavin asked her if she could say "slave labor". (She can.) She also brings the babies toys all the time.



Aside on the photo: Only a dad would hold his twins like Rambo packing double heat.

I took the twins today and met some people for lunch. As we were eating, a lady from the next table came over and asked if I was "zoyapunk". (That's a screen name I use a lot.) She's from the local Mother of Multiples chapter and recognized me from my profile and the two babies I was toting around. I've been telling people for a while that having multiples gets you access to this underground club. Only other parents of multiples really understand what you're going through, and they are always sympathetic and wanting to help you get through the day. You also have no idea how many multiples there are around until you have them yourself. The local MOM group is really fabulous, and I've very much enjoyed getting to know some of them over the internet. I hope to go to the meeting next week and meet some in real life.

Last night I went to book club. It was so much fun. None of us enjoyed the book, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, but that didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves. Next month we're reading Playing the Enemy. In addition to having an excuse to hang out with some great ladies once a month, the expansion of my reading repitoir is a good thing.

One final cheerful thought: Today is Friday, and Gavin has 2AM feeding duty for the next three nights thanks to the three day weekend. 6 hours sleep, here I come!

Lost

Have you seen my life?

I haven't seen it in a while. I think I lost it a couple months ago, and I'm starting to worry that maybe I'm not going to find it again. I already looked in the dirty laundry, in the piles of dishes, in with the baby bottles, and in the diaper pail. I keep meaning to go out and look for it, but somehow it's so hard to make it past the front door.

Life with newborn(s) is characterized mainly by deterioration. Deterioration in the state of your house. Deterioration in the state of your mind. Except the part that is the growth and flourishing of a tiny human being. Or two in my case.

The thing I hate most about this stage is the uncertainty. Uncertainty in how much or how long to feed the baby. Uncertainty in what is currently making them cry. Uncertainty in how long they will go before sleeping longer at night. It's all very frustrating.

It's easy to forget that this phase of life is so short. That that tiny baby you are holding will soon be a big baby and then a toddler. (I'm still in denial that Carina is ever going to be a teenager.) That you will one day feel nostalgia for the newborn phase, even if that nostalgia is mainly possible because you forget how sleep deprived you were.

So I try to enjoy the good moments. I try to remember that they will grow up too fast. I try not to concentrate on the crying and the tiredness, but instead remember how Drake held his head up during tummy time today, and how Eleanor makes such cute noises when she's content.

Now, does somebody have a way to make me remember this when I'm getting up at 2 AM?

Baby Blues

Having twins is currently kicking my butt. We had it so easy with Carina. She started sleeping 4-5 hours at night about week 4. She was happy. She napped during the day. And there were not two of her.

Eleanor and Drake are actually normal to good as far as newborns go. But since there are two, everything is just harder. We would probably have gotten more than the one 5 hour stretch between feedings if either one were here alone, but when one needs to eat we have to wake both up so that we aren't feeding all night. I am doing OK feeding both of them by myself. But I have to put one down to burp the other during the feedings, and the one that's put down is always upset. So feedings are punctuated by crying. I feel guilty for not being able to pay attention to them during their wake periods like I would a single baby. But there's always something that has to be done right after I finish feeding them. Pumping for Eleanor is making that harder, because if I don't pump right after the feeding I worry about having time to make milk for Drake at the next feeding. In spite of my great desire to breastfeed, I'm considering starting to bottle feed both because it goes so much faster and then I could just pump whenever it makes sense with the feeding schedule.

And I'm tired. Oh, so tired. That one 4 hour stretch was the most continuous sleep I've gotten in 5 weeks. It's getting hard to function. I am on the edge of tears often. Although I know intellectually that this will not last forever, it is hard to make my emotions believe it. I'm just taking it one day at a time right now. Today was better than yesterday. Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today.

Dec 2009 Pre-Christmas

Twins Come Home

Squeaker and Screecher

I'm going to nickname the twins Squeaker and Screecher.

Eleanor is Squeaker. She makes these little squeaks that are so cute. She's so easy-going, though. Something is going on that should make her really upset, and she just squeaks in protest. When you're burping her, she has the habit of reaching her arms out in front of her with her fingers splayed. Gavin likes to narrate this pose as "I'm a spooky ghost".

Drake is Screecher. They fixed his lungs good in the hospital - he can really holler. And he does whenever you change his diaper, when you start feeding him, when you give him a bath, change his clothes, etc. Screecher is the littlest crotchety old man you've ever seen. He has this constantly worried expression with a wrinkled brow that makes him look like he's wondering if "those damn kids" are going to steal his milk again. Either that or whether his 401K will last through retirement.

Carina has not been to day care for a week now, and the result of this is that she has finally caught up on her sleep. This has resulted in her not wanting to nap. The other day Gavin came home from the grocery store an hour after I left her in her room, and she was standing in the hallway upstairs. What bothered me about that wasn't so much that she got up, but that she realized she needed to be quiet to avoid getting put back into bed. I'm not sure I was ready for her to be aware that sneakiness can pay off.

Christmas 2009 - Best Ever

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Both parents were up feeding two tiny mouths.
The stockings were hung above the dogs reach
In the hopes that St Nicholas would not fall asleep.
The newborns were happy to eat and to sleep
The four hour cycle of feedings we keep.
And I in my sweat pants and pa in his too
Had just gone to bed for an hour or two,
When near to my bed arose such a clatter
I blearily woke to see what was the matter.
Away to the crib I stumbled and felt
And found a baby fussing for milk.

I could go on, but I made my main point and that is a really, really long poem.

Christmas 2009 is sure to be a memorable one. Carina had a fabulous time, enjoyed all her gifts, and was excited to give Eleanor and Drake theirs. She got a play kitchen from her Grandma and Grandpa Sheppard that was a big hit, and has been working the rest of the way through her toys at a steady pace this morning. The Tigger and Pooh Bear she got from Great Grandmother Sigvor have been declared "her favorite". She and Gavin are currently building her first lego construction.

It is strange to be home for Christmas. Even when we've stayed in Texas before, we've gone to Conroe for the celebrations. With three kids to tote, though, it was a no-brainer to stay at home. Fortunately, the newborn twins have gotten us out of most of the disadvantages of hosting. Mike and Meg are currently cooking dinner for us while we wait for the next round of feeding to commence.

Eleanor and Drake at 3 1/2 weeks are having a few awake periods now. They were both up for about an hour earlier today. I'm currently having the first of what I'm sure will be a continuous cycle of guilt trips about twin-rearing. This one has to do with not being able to focus on them individually while they're awake like I would a single baby. There's always something that has to be done right after feeding them like pumping, or washing bottles, or paying attention to Carina. It's not that I didn't expect this; nobody ever told me twin babies would be easy.

In spite of the difficulties, this has been the best Christmas ever. It is the first one Carina really "got", and we have our precious new babies. The problem has more been that there is too much wonderful stuff going on to focus on individual blessings.

Merry Christmas to all our friends and relatives!

Update

Yesterday I snuck out of the house for an hour to go to Target. My major objective was met by obtaining 3 pairs of XL pajama pants and two pairs of XL sweat pants. All these pants will end up being so huge on me that I won't be able to imagine that I was actually big enough to wear them. But, I am now much more comfortable.

I stepped on the scale a few days ago for the first time since before going to the hospital. I was both shocked and pleased to discover that I am now forty - 40!!! - lbs lighter than I was the day before the twins were born. It took me months to lose this much weight after Carina was born. Like six months. Meanwhile, I'm still wanting to eat the world due to the extra calorie demands of making breastmilk for two babies. Merry Christmas to me!!!

Things are pretty much the same with the kids.

Carina is being a wonderful big sister, helping out with feedings and diaper changes, and giving both babies kisses on the tops of their heads.

Eleanor is gaining weight like a champ now - her weight check this morning came at 6 lb 4.5 oz!! She's still not sucking well enough to nurse; it might be a lost cause at this point. I've been letting her "play" at the breast a few times, but she doesn't want to hold the nipple in her mouth. I might take her in to see a lactation consultant now that her weight has stabilized. Fortunately, I am not having any trouble pumping enough to keep up with her feedings, so she's getting breastmilk anyway.

Drake is nursing pretty well when he wants to, but sometimes is more interested in sleeping. I'm usually nursing exclusively during the day and then offering a bottle after nursing at night. I can't deal with 2 1/2 hour feeding cycles at night when I konw we could be doing 4 hour cycles. We've been doing OK with letting the twins get on different feeding schedules during the day and then synching them back up in the evening.

Routine - Question Mark?

We might, MIGHT I say, be getting into a bit of a routine here. Eleanor has started eating 60-65 mL per feeding, which made me comfortable with letting her go up to 4 hours between feedings if she wants. That makes Drake happier because he didn't really want to get up after 3 hours anyway. It also makes me happier because I get 2 1/2 hrs of sleep at a time instead of 1 1/2. That's a big difference at this point.

It is one of the crazy mysteries of the human body that if on an ordinary day you only got 6 hours of sleep in 2 hour increments, your body would rebel. Done for two straight weeks after the delivery of two babies, though, and your body just deals with it. It complains when you have to get up at 3:30 am, but you feel remarkably functional during the day. I guess evolution has done it's thing.

The house painting got done Friday and we're thankfully back in our own house. I definitely do not recommend timing things the way we ended up doing them. It looks great, though, and I'm glad it's done. The color difference is fairly subtle, but it really makes the room look more warm We put back enough furniture to make the living room usable, but there's still a lot of stuff hanging around in the corners of the bedrooms. I asked the contractor to hold off on getting the flooring people in here until after New Years. I couldn't handle another week of that craziness. We'll put back the rest of the stuff after the floors are done.

Breastfeeding

The title says it all - if you're squeemish, don't read!

The pamphlets and web sites that tout breastfeeding as the best way to feed your baby, usually contain a list of advantages to breastmilk that contain the following items, among others:

- Antibodies for your baby
- Helps the mother lose weight
- Bonding between mother and baby
- Poop doesn't smell as much
- Breastmilk is easier for the baby to digest
- Less expensive than formula
- No equipment to buy and carry

I'm totally on board with most of these. The last one, though, is a myth as far as I can tell. Breastfeeding for me has always included equipment, and the list just keeps getting longer.

The Pump: In addition to the pump itself, there's the bottle kits that attach to the pump that disassemble into 6 pieces for each breast and must be washed after every use and periodically sterilized. The Pump has always been a totally essential part of nursing for me due to my kids ending up in the NICU. No baby, no breastfeeding, so if you want milk you pump. A lot.

The Nipple Shield: Maybe TMI, but Carina and Eleanor both needed this little prop to figure out where to put their mouth. With Carina, it also helped me not die of pain when she sucked. Instead, I only nearly fainted. Drake is a real man, though, and needs no coaching on what's what on the breast. Yesterday when I got to nurse for the first time, I brought his head close to my boob to see if he could get it without the props. His little mouth opened wide, and he practically inhaled my breast.

The Supplemental Feeder: This one was new this time. When Eleanor wasn't eating well the first day and lost her first 7 oz, the nursery/pediatrician asked me to supplement with 15 mL of formula after nursing. After talking whith the lactation consultant, we decided to try using a supplemental feeder, which is a little tube that dribbles formula down into the nipple shield so that the baby still feels like they are nursing to get the food. Upon getting home, we concocted a unique method of holding the bottle that contains the formula up high so that it would dribble down. Gavin put a baseball hat on my head and clipped the bottle to the brim. I felt like I was wearing a baby gear version of one of those beer helmets.

So, I hope I'm on the equipment down-swing. For now the supplemental feeder is serving as Eleanor's bottle. I'll probably still be pumping for Eleanor for the next couple weeks, but we'll work on getting back to the breast when she's safely gained some weight. Drake doesn't seem to need the nipple shield, so we can hopefully dispense with that. I hope to one day be nursing without the help of equipment and believing the last line on the benefits list.

Special 2 Hour Delivery

Eleanor's still home with us, the high calorie formula seems to be helping. And she's learning to work on sucking at the bottle, which is great. Jen and my mom just walked out the door to go visit Drake, and I have a few minutes before I must wake Eleanor, so I thought I'd share the delivery. At least, the Dad's perspective on it.

Jen had been tossing and turning a lot for the last few nights before Dec 1st, so I had migrated out to the couches. Then, after 4am, something woke me up. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but Zoya hopped to her feet and went running downstairs. So I waited a moment, and there was Jen's voice again. Down the stairs I flew.

"My water broke."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure!" I actually heard her belly GURGLE! It was most definitely not a stomach grumble.

About 30 minutes later we were at the hospital, with our OB checking on Jen and the twins. No need for an emergency cesarian, twins were doing fine, but the hospital staff would get prepped and get her in shortly. Jen's contractions were mildly discomforting but she was happy and ready. I noticed, after we settled down to wait, that her belly was now lopsided! Only one of the twin embryonic fluid sacs had burst, deflating the right side. It was quite amusing to me at 5am. After the nurse dropped off my scrubs, I spent 15 minutes typing an email on my iPhone to some people at work, to make sure some immediate items this week would be covered. (The mighty iPhone is awesome, but typing three paragraphs at 5am on its tiny touch keyboard isn't the greatest user experience I've had with it.)

"Sir, you better get your scrubs on." And she wasn't kidding! A few minutes later we were wheeling Jen down the hallway, around a few corners, to the operating rooms. The dad always has to wait outside whenever they do an epidural, which is done for cesarians too. So I sat in my chair and chatted with one of the nice cleaning staff. A few minutes later a baby cart was wheeled out by a nurse with a new dad in tow, and after trading congratulations with him I watched them continue down the hall towards the nursery.

The nurses for Eleanor and Drake showed up. Two babies, one nurse for each! Nurses always love hearing that we don't know the sexes of the babies. We talked a bit about possible names; we were all very cheerful for 0630. They headed into the OR to get their areas ready, and I had a few minutes to myself.

With Jen's natural delivery, I had several hours to think and reflect on the imminent birth. With the cesarian for the twins, it was much shorter. I've been careful with both births to try not to have many expectations going in, both for the birth and for the kids afterwards. A few plans, sure, but no expectations. That works well for me; I find it easier to adapt to whatever is needed.

"Your wife is ready for you now."

I stood and followed the nurse into the OR. Bright white spotlights in a cool clean room. Cool, but not freezing. To the far left of the doors were the baby stations with their nurses finishing their set up. To the far right were several cabinets of supplies. A battery of machines and monitors, plus the anesthesiologist, near Jen's head. A blue curtain was set up over Jen's shoulders so she couldn't see what was going on. The operating team was just beginning, with our doctor and a few others gathered around Jen's torso.

I stepped over quickly to the offered stool by Jen's side, and took her hand. The curtain blocked my view, unless I chose to lean to my right and peek around it. We shared a few quiet words while we waited. Jen looked very excited and anxious, like she did at Becca's house when she went into labor for Carina. "This feels really weird," Jen said. She had a vise grip on my hand that I distinctly recalled from our wedding.

The people behind the curtain tugged a few times, rocking Jen a little, and so I peeked. And there was one baby being drawn up into the light! 0644. I smiled and told Jen as one of the baby stations leapt into action, receiving and quickly cleaning the baby. I remember the baby was moving around, but pretty quiet. Several measurements, clearing the mouth, and the nurse said over her shoulder, "It's a girl!"

Jen and I both smiled, "Bristol!" Jen went back to focusing on the odd sensations as the team worked on pulling Twin B out. Bristol, part of my mind reflected again on the name. I mean, we liked it the name a lot... but Eleanor seemed a good name too and I know Jen really liked that. We had been thinking of using Eleanor for the second girl's name.

"What do you think of going with Eleanor?"
"Uh... what?"
"Eleanor. Instead of Bristol."
Jen looked very preoccupied, given the ongoing surgery. "I thought you liked Bristol."
"I do, but I think I like Eleanor more."
"Um... maybe," Jen replied. Maybe it wasn't the best time or place to reconsider names.

But it wouldn't be a Mendeck delivery without having a last minute name discussion! Later as Jen was recovering in her labor and delivery room, we decided on Eleanor.

The second baby was whisked to its station, and was quite mobile and vocal. The nurses attended the baby, and seemed to take their time. Time enough for a few thoughts. Would we get 3 girls? Would we get a boy? Which is more likely to result in me losing all my hair by 50? "It's a boy!" called out his nurse.

I used my mighty iPhone to snap a few pictures of Eleanor and Drake in the operating room. The nurses gestured for me to step over to both babies as they made the baby footprints for the records. They then pressed the inked feet against the chest of my scrubs so I would have my own twin footprints to wear. That blue shirt wasn't coming off that day! Later I received many smiles as I walked around the hospital.

Then the nurses were ready to hustle the babies and me out of the room. I looked back to Jen to make sure she was doing okay, she nodded. Another glance past the curtain to see... things... being moved around as they put my wife back together. I really made the right choice to be an engineer. I was glad I remembered to thank everyone as I left.

There wasn't an expecting father-to-be when I left the OR to congratulate, so I merely took off the scrub pants and booties and followed the carts down to the nursery. The nurses talked about how crazy the night had been... 11 cesarians in one shift! Who knows how many babies they had delivered naturally too.

We arrived to the nursery and they finished taking some weights and hooking the babies up to the monitors. Eleanor was already drifting off to sleep. But Drake, I could see, was struggling a little bit. Expending a lot of energy to breathe. He was breathing and his heart rate was nominal as my wife would say, but I could tell he was going to get tired if he kept that up. A few hours later when they told us he was going to go to the NICU to let him clear some fluid and develop his lungs, we weren't surprised. I'm told this is typical "wimpy white boy syndrome" for boys that are a few weeks early.

While Jen was in recovery and holding Eleanor, I did get to see Drake before they wheeled him off to the NICU. I managed to intercept the nurses in the hallway and, without me having to ask, they offered to wheel by to let mom hold him for a little bit. A little bit turned out to be a minute, but it was better than nothing!

We sent some text messages to announce their coming to the world. It had been a quick morning... labor after 4am and delivery around 0645! It was time for mom to rest as we waited for my parents to arrive. I arranged with Becca and Sarah a somewhat impromptu handoff as the car keys (to drive Carina and her car seat to day care) had not been left left behind. But when that was done, we all finally had a chance to relax and marvel at life.

Life is good.

Rollercoaster

The first few weeks after any new baby arrives are always a roller coaster of feelings - triumphs and frustrations, successes and failures, ups and downs. The first week of having twins is like trying to ride two roller coasters, whose tracks are not parallel to each other, at the same time.

Drake is doing really well. He's on room air today, and will likely move from his temperature controlled bed to a crib today. He's on the final stretch before coming home if nothing goes wrong from here on out.

Eleanor had her first pediatricians checkup this morning. She lost two ounces. For a baby of her size, especially one that lost a lot of weight after birth, that's a big deal. The doctor gave us 1 day to get her weight up 1-2 ounces, or she's headed back to the hospital. That will require that she take 8-10 mL of formula or expresses breast milk every hour. She's not allowed to try to breastfeed until we get her weight back up to her birth weight, and even then it will only be once or twice a day. The doctor even thinks the normal nipples that come with the nursettes the hospital provided for us are too big and had us get some preemie nipples. (Drake being in the NICU helped us out there, as I was able to beg some from them rather than going out searching for preemie nipples at the store.)

I was so proud last night that I finally got Eleanor latched on and feeding directly from the breast a couple times. Turns out, my determination to get a good start on breastfeeding was exhausting her. I know everyone is going to tell me that I can't blame myslef. I didn't know; I was just doing what I thought best for her. But that's the thing about being a parent. You're always responsible, even when you don't know any better.

When I stopped by the NICU to drop off Drake's car seat and beg the preemie nipples off his nurse, the guy behind me was there to pick up a death certificate for some poor parents. That was really hard to hear, especially as I was already upset over Eleanor's appointment. So, tonight I am trying to be grateful that neither of my children is in deathly peril. They will get better, and I will do whatever is needed to ensure that.

Home with One

We got home at 3:30 yesterday afternoon. When Carina woke up from her nap, I was feeding Eleanor. Carina was very happy to see Gavin and I, and fascinated by her little sister. She's been very helpful with her so far, and asks lots of questions about what we're going with the baby. She has also been taking care of her baby doll that Grammie got her (there's a boy baby doll waiting for Drake's arrival).

I slept for about 45 minutes tonight with a little baby snuzzling on my chest. It's amazing how much more comfortable that is than a normal nap. Eleanor is still more interested in sleeping than eating, which isn't that surprising given her gestational age at birth. It means I have to work pretty hard to get any food into her, and that breastfeeding once again comes with tons of equipment for me. Let's hope we can get off it earlier this time.

I went to see Drake late this morning. He was down to 1/2 liter of normal air through his cannula. Gavin is there now, but the nurse told him on the phone there had been lots of positive changes just since I was there. I'm speculating he's in a crib now. He might just be home early this week.

Tomorrow things get shaken up again. I had hired a general contractor to do some work on the house back in August. Unfortunately, due to one thing and another, the work got delayed. There are just two things left to do - painting (this week) and refinishing and extending the hardwood floors. Painting is not the most convenient activity to be having two days after bringing home a newborn. We are planning to decamp to Becca's for most of the week.

Feelings

I got to hold my son for the first time this afternoon. Drake was being put under the lights for slight jaundice (like sister, like brother), and I got to hold him while they were setting up. He was very alert and content looking around at Gavin and I. He's feisty, but I think he's a sweetie as well.

Drake is still on oxygen, but they are gradually decreasing the flow. He's being weaned onto food, and he drains his 10 mL in about 10 seconds flat. He's got a great sucking reflex, so hopefully it will be easy to teach him to nurse when it's time.

Eleanor has stopped pooping blood, and they conclusively proved that the blood was mine. So, she has been cleared to go home with us tomorrow. She's still got a pretty weak sucking reflex, so I'm going to have some work to do to get her nursing properly. She gained back 2 oz over the last day, though, so we're headed in the right direction with the formula supplements.

I think Eleanor is going to have a very sweet and laid-back personality like her big sister. She is so content being held that she doesn't care about anything else - even food (unlike her big sister who shares her brother and father's love of mealtime). Eleanor has a marvelous curiosity about the world that shows in an expression of wonder on her face when she is alert and looking around. It is quite adorable.

We're looking forward to getting home tomorrow and introducing Carina to her little sister. Drake will likely be here for a week or so, we think. So we get to do the newborn at home / newborn in the hospital shuffle. With some additional drama due to the living room finally getting painted next week. :P Guess we'll be spending the week hanging at Becca's, and the hospital.

Twins Update

Eleanor is still having bloody stools. The pediatricians have been getting more and more worried about the fact that they weren't going away. I got a call about an hour ago from the pediatrician saying that they've decided to do some lab work to test for anemia and a chest x-ray to look at her digestive system. She isn't going to admit her to the NICU yet, but she's thinking about it if the stools don't clear up very quickly or if the test find something.

Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. It's practically identical, except that Eleanor has the added issue of being small and premature.

Being able to care for Eleanor has been really helping me handle the impact of Drake being in the NICU. I'm still hoping we'll avoid another admittance, but it is upsetting to say the least. Is it really too much to ask that I be able to take one child home with me from the hospital?

As for Drake, we went and sat with him for a while this morning. He's still under the oxygen hood, and has been doing better at times. He's still working pretty hard, though, and we haven't been able to hold him yet. It's even hard to look at his face as the hood gets foggy from his breathing. He was sleeping the whole time we were there.

As for me, I'm doing the best of everyone. I walked back from the NICU this morning, and though it was tiring I recovered quickly. I don't think I'll need my supplemental pain meds today. Now if only I could get some healthy babies to keep me company, I'd be set.

We talked to Carina on the phone this morning, too. I wish she could visit. She's having a great time with Grammie, but I could use a hug.

Eleanor and Drake

Eleanor Marie was born December 1, 2009 at 6:44 am. She weighed 5 lb 15 oz and was 17 1/2 in. Her brother Drake Michael followed at 6:45 am. He was 6 lb 6 oz and 18 1/2 in.

Eleanor is having a slow start eating. I am working hard to encourage her. She is also a tad jaundiced, so she is under the lights tonight.

Drake has been working really hard to breathe since birth. He is in the neonatal ICU and under the oxygen hood tonight. He just needs some practice, but we aren't sure how long he will be there.

I am doing well after the c- section. Up and walking today. There's no wireless at the hospital, so watch twitter for updates, since blogging by i-phone is tough!

The Pregnancy - Day 255

Today is day 53 in Confinement. The parasitic organisms that have taken up residence in my abdomen continue to pummel my internal organs until my muscles contract regularly. I've been told this process will eventually result in my body expelling the little organisms and that they will look like human children. I have my doubts, as I've had regular contractions 1-2 times a day for nearly two months now and so far there is no sign of the organisms tiring of their warm home.

Meanwhile, my abdomen has swollen to alarming proportions to accommodate the growing organisms. The doctors measure this swelling on a "40 week" scale. I score somewhere in the 50s. As the clothing provided to people in my condition is also cut to accommodate the 40 week size, I am reduced to wearing a few highly stretched garments over and over. As expulsion of the organisms will be forced in 10 days at the most, purchasing new clothing is not efficient. If even such clothing could be found.



My spirits are relatively high as some of the stabbing pain that persisted through the last few weeks has subsided. Perhaps the organisms have become so crowded that they cannot maneuver their sharp, pointy bits into the same places anymore. Whatever the cause, I am grateful.

My prison-like diet continues to bore me, but I was able to sneak some of the good food late last week while the non-afflicted in my household were consuming to excess. The parasites seem to be more and more jealous of the food that I do eat as they seem to be attempting to expel it back up my esophagus on a regular basis. This has been causing more and more discomfort over the last two weeks. I look forward to the feast I will have once the organisms are expelled, and I am allowed normal food again.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I'm having a bit of trouble with the idea that it's Thanksgiving today. I think this is partly because it's about 65 deg outside. The other part, maybe the majority, is that this is pretty much what I do every day. Sit around the house and watch TV. I feel like I've been suspended animation for the last two months. Except for the growing belly and decreasing level of fitness, everything stays the same. No doubt the turkey dinner will make me feel like Thanksgiving.

The roof is finally getting replaced; it's about 75% done. They'll finish it on Saturday. Then we can get painted, floored, and we'll be done. Maybe before the babies arrive? It's possible.

35 Weeks, 3 Days

They simply do not make maternity wear for people as big as me. I have 2 shirts that really cover my whole belly, and one of those stretches so thin you can pretty much see through it. I've decided I don't care. People will just have to deal with seeing the elastic in the pants. For half a belly. 17 days max until I deflate.

I have my last ultrasound appointment tomorrow. I'm hoping that we'll get the news that the babies have turned, but I'm pretty sure I can feel B's head on my left still, and I'm getting kicked in the pelvis enough to believe A is still breech. Assuming that they stay in those positions and that I don't go into labor naturally prior to the day, we've scheduled the C-section for December 10. When I'm thinking about the addition of infant twins to our life, that seems like really soon. When I'm thinking about the discomfort I'm living with right now, it seems like eons away.

If we do have the babies on Dec 10, I will have 94 hours of sick leave left when I go on maternity leave. That gets me to about Christmas. I wonder if I should request the advanced sick leave now or wait until I'm almost out. At any rate, by the time I get back to work I'm going to have nothing in the bank for taking care of sick babies.

31 Weeks and New Babies

First and most importantly...

CONGRATULATIONS to John and Nujoud on the birth of Zara Louise today! I think it's fabulous that they already have her at home. At least they won't be woken up by the hospital staff 20 times tonight - just 10 or so by the baby. Maybe not even that. If the nurses hadn't insisted that we do everything short shaking her to get Carina to wake up to eat the first night every two hours, she probably would have only been up 2 or 3 times that first night.

Thinking about them spending the first night with their newborn is honestly scaring me a little when I realize that I'm probably only 5 or 6 weeks away from doing the same with TWO. I've been trying not to worry about it too much, because it is what it is after all. But... TWO BABIES! I'm going to have to deal with TWO NEWBORNS! Help me...

Anyway, 31 weeks today - two weeks down on modified "take it easy" bedrest. My 4 hours of telework a day is helping me stay sane. I'm getting seriously tired and out of breath every time I do more than walk to the bathroom, though. I blame the pregnancy and the "taking it easy". I'm going to be seriously out of shape by the time these babies come.

The Home Stretch?

I think I am mentally entering late-pregnancy. It's amazing how you can spend 7 months watching your body swell up, feeling the babies moving around, talking about having twins, preparing the house for the arrival, and still not really get it through your skull that you are about to have tiny human beings enter your life. I felt very similarly the last time.

Today, though, I was sitting at my computer doing documentation work (since that's the most reasonable thing to do from home, that's what I'm doing a lot of now). I found myself feeling my belly when the babies moved and having more of a connection with them than I have in the past. It's also really dawning on me that the most likely scenario for delivery of these kids is just over a month or less away, even though my due date is still over two months away. I feel like I should need to get stuff ready. I'm trying to remember all the stuff I did before Carina was born. Most of it, though, is either already done or is apparently not worrying me as a second-time mom. There is a lot of that. Now that I know they won't really need much for the first few months other than me and my boobs, it's kind of a different game. I'm not worried about sterilizing bottles for a while, for instance.

I thought my blogging would pick up now that I have so much time at home, but I really don't have much to say. Today I stayed home. Yesterday I stayed home. Tomorrow I will stay home. I will eat. I will read. I will work. I will cross-stitch.

Today was nice because many of my friends were able to come have lunch with me. After they left, the house seemed really quiet.

Meals

I just spent about and hour and a half working on meal plans. As a result of my efforts, I now have 4 dinner options, 2 breakfast options, and 1 lunch option that fit the plan the nutrition consultant gave me this morning. Mostly, the plans fit how I already ate with fewer starches. However, I did have to move things between meals. For instance, I normally eat more fruit at lunch and vegetables at dinner. Now I have to split them evenly between the times. Doesn't seem like it would cause a lot of problems, but the list of veggies I normally eat is somewhat short, so I have to figure out how to not get tired of eating the same thing all the time. Also, everything has too much starch and not enough meat.

Also, what is up with portion sizes. They're dinky! And they did a 2000 calorie diet for me since I'm all with-child. She did say if I felt like I was starving to call back and they'd add a couple hundred calories. I might actually need to do that. The twins make me HUNGRY. Gavin keeps serving me about half of what I need to eat at mealtimes.

Epic Belly: Episode IV - Voyage of the Titanic

I'm a couple weeks late on this installment. The last week and a half have been full of adjustment, so please forgive the lapse. Here I am one day shy of 30 weeks. I think the belly has officially reached titanic proportions. I am starting to have trouble reaching around it to type on my laptop if I'm in a reclined position. I think it's kind of hard to see the progress in these pictures. I suggest looking at two things. First, the shirt I'm wearing, while a maternity shirt, cannot contain the belly and the elastic belly of the pants is showing. Second, my boobs look small, which is definitely not the reality. Also, click here for the 24 week picture for comparison.


As of Tuesday, the babies were 3 lb 7 oz and 3 lb 5 oz. They were both sideways, heads left. "Bunk bed" position, as the ultrasound tech put it. Their weight is right on or a bit ahead of schedule. I'm still having periodic contractions, but nothing alarming.

Left Out

Gavin and Carina just left to go to the Houston Museum of Natural Science for the morning. The outing had been planned before I went on bedrest. I was kind of surprised Gavin wanted to take Carina by himself. And I'm really bummed that I couldn't go with them. I know that I can't realistically expect that people will stop having fun for the next two months because I can't join in, but it is harder when I know people are out there doing something without me. Especially when it's my little girl's first trip to see the dinosaurs. :(

I had about an hour's worth of pretty steady contractions last night. I started to think about calling the doctor after 30 minutes, but they started lengthening out after some water and lying on my side. I wish my body came with a panic light that would tell me what's serious and what isn't. Guessing is hard sometimes.

I've been a cross-stitching fiend the last couple days. At this rate I'm going to finish the bibs by next week. Luckily, I have several other projects on tap that will take quite a while.


I also need to get Gavin to put the paint samples we got a couple weeks ago on the wall so we can choose one. I think we're ready to start the contractors on the house soon.

Birthday and Hippie Baby Clothes

Let me just take this moment to say what wonderful friends I have. We held my birthday dinner at home last night. Sarha and Debbie both provided me with some things to do on bedrest (I'm starting the bibs today, Sarah!). Everyone volunteered to come to the house for lunch periodically so that I could have some company during the day. We had a great time and actually ate up the humungous amount of BBQ I ordered. Carina had a great time playing with everyone, doing Sarah's hair, and insisting that I open all my presents as soon as she could convince me to.

My wonderful husband Gavin got me the Kindle 2. I've been coveting a Kindle for 2 years, but was never able to justify the cost. I downloaded The Gurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society last night, which is the first book chosen by our newly minted book club. It was pretty cool - a couple button pushes and I have a new book without leaving my couch! This could be really dangerous. :)

Before the bedrest order hit, I managed to finish laundering the tie-dye onesies from the baby shower last weekend. Here are the results - click here for more.


There are about half a dozen shirts that came out really, really well. Including the one with the circles in the picture above, which might be my favorite - I believe it is by Debbie. The only problem was creating those circles required like 100 rubber bands wrapped tightly around little bunches of cloth. My hands were green for two days from the dye; in fact, there is still a green tinge to a few of my fingernails.

Bedrest

Yesterday I was going to write about our scare and trip to the hospital in the middle of the night, but I was too tired. So for the rare blog reader that hasn't heard through other means already, I spent Tueday night in the hospital. I woke up at about 12:40 AM and was afraid that I might be leaking amniotic fluid. I called the doctor and while we waited for a call back, I started feeling contractions. The doctor immediately instructed us to go to the hospital, so we called Becca to spend the night at the house with Carina, threw a few things into a bag, and off we went.

At the hospital, they hooked me up to 2 heartrate monitors and a contraction monitor. By that time, I was noticing contractions pretty close together. The babies seemed fine, good heartbeats and active as ever. My contractions were every three minutes for a while, and then they slowed down. They did an exam to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid, and while we waited for the results the contractions picked up again and got more intense. Fortunately, the result of the fluid test came back negative, which is a real relief because that is pretty much the point of no return. I was still having those contractions, though. So about 4 AM, they gave me an IV with fluids and a relaxant to try to stop the contractions.

After experiencing my first buzz since before I got pregnant, I quickly felt sleepy. The contractions also pretty much stopped dead. We slept a few hours, and my doctor came in at around 8 AM. They did an ultrasound to check my cervix, which was still thick and closed, did the glucose test I'd been expecting to do later in the day, and they told me to go home.

This morning I called the doctor to find out the results of my glucose screening. When they called back, they had bad news. The results came back as abnormal, so I have to do the 3 hour screening now. Then they really dropped the hammer. I guess my doctor thought he'd already put me on "restrictions", so when they found the discrepancy they told me I am now on modified bedrest. That means I can get up for short periods of time to go to the bathroom, eat, move between the bed and couch, etc, but I have to stay home except for appointments and only do short periods where I'm not reclined to 45 deg.

This sucks. It's no fun lazing around in bed when you have no choice. And it will be this way until I reach full term or the babies come, whichever comes first. People have been very encouraging and sympathetic, but I am still upset and not looking forward to being isolated for 8-10 weeks before the babies even arrive. And then I will be isolated while the babies are real young. And then after what I'm sure will seem like a lifetime, I will go back to work and not be able to remember a thing that I was doing.

I'm going to try to telework from home about half time, but it's not the same. And all the plans for my birthday, Halloween, etc are pretty much blown. I do NOT want pre-term babies if there's any way to prevent it, so I'm going to be good. But I'm not happy about it.

In the meantime, my birthday dinner tomorrow has been moved to my house. Plans for dinner out with Gavin and going to the museum on Monday are shelved. I'm very grateful for all my friends that have volunteered to have lunch at my house once or twice a week to keep me company. I will adjust. I can do it.

October Light and Mental Videos

Do you know what I mean by "October Light"? There's something about this month of the year, every day about 6PM the light gets really awesome. All the colors look brighter and the air looks clearer. I don't know what does it. Just yesterday as we were driving home, I looked up and suddenly exclaimed "October light!". Gavin was totally with me. The strange thing is that there was October light again tonight, but the weather was definitely not Octoberish. I know my friends and family "up North" are already mourning the loss of summer, but here in the great state of Texas we're still waiting for the muggy to go away. Today was terrible.

Lots of sci-fi books have this idea of a future where our brains are constantly wired in to a network that records our every waking moment. In general, I don't get the appeal of that idea. However, there are moments when I wish I could turn on a video camera inside my head to preserve moments forever. One of those times was a couple days ago.

Carina and I were alone on the sofa (Mommy's favorite place to play these days), and I was talking about the babies. She pulled up my shirt so she could see my belly and then started patting it. She looked up at me and asks "Sing 'Twinkle' to the babies?" She then proceeded to do so, singing 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' in a soft voice while rubbing my tummy. I hope I never forget that.

Gone in a Flash

This weekend was so busy! Well, actually we did two special things, but that's enough to make me feel like I blinked and it was over.

Saturday we went to a birthday party for Samantha. There were tons of kids there! I think it was the first one of these I've been to where the kids were at least half the focus of the party. Sam didn't do much better eating her birthday cake than Carina did at her first birthday.

Today, we had our baby un-shower. Cari did a great job hosting. We tie-dyed onesies and shirts, which is great fun. When I get them all rinsed and laundered, I'll post pictures of all of them. There were at least a few that I think are going to make really cute shirts! Everyone agreed we're going to look like total urban hippies dressing our kids in homemade tie-dye all the time. It's more interesting than white onesies, though!

I'm contemplating some changes at work, but things are never simple. First step is figuring out what I really want, then figuring out what the best way to get it would be. Then making it happen.

2nd Time Around

So I feel kind of bad I haven't been making as much to-do about the impending arrival of the twins as I did for Carina. I know it's natural and all, but I had a web page and everything for Carina. Poor twins, already getting gyped and not even born yet. So, I went out and made a cute ticker tonight, and I'll get to work on a web page. I swear.

Sunday

I feel today the ominous beginnings of swelling in my feet and hands. If you had any contact with me during the last months of my pregnancy with Carina, you know why I have been awaiting this day with trepidation. It was too much to hope that I wouldn't have any edema with the twins. I considered every day I went without any signs a victory. I think the honeymoon is over, though.

Carina is spending a few days with Gavin's parents at their place. It is very strange to be home without her. Gavin woke up very early this morning because he thought he heard her. I've been vegging in front of the TV with my laptop most of the day, and I can't shake the feeling that there's something I should be doing. Meg thinks she wants to do this once a month, but I'm not sure I can give my girl up that often.

Tried to go car shopping today, but I guess dealerships aren't open on Sundays? That's one out of the two days a week that we have time to do this activity, and they aren't open. I didn't expect them to be open this morning, but come on how about 1-5PM?

Epic Belly: Episode III

24 weeks - about 5 1/2 months into this pregnancy. People are starting to think that I should be due in about a month or so. The truth is that I have 3 1/2 more months to go before my official due date. I am getting pretty big, though. I don't really have any pictures of myself that show my belly well from the last two months of my first pregnancy, but I am at least as big as I was at my mid-April baby shower. At least.

Reading List

For the last week or so, Carina has brought me the same two books to read before bed every night.

The first is There's No Place Like Space by Dr. Seuss. My favorite part about reading this book is that when we get to Pluto, she does her very best to convince me that the planet should actually be called Goofy. There's no doubt who her favorite Disney dog is.

The second book she wants to read is The Baby Owner's Manual, which is the most awesome book about baby care on Earth. It's not really written for a 2-year-old, so we have to be a bit creative about how we read it. First we turn to the diagram of a baby and name all the body parts. This particular diagram is of a boy baby, so if we have a boy I will have the advantage of having already introduced her to the boy part. (Can't wait until she brings that bit of knowledge up in mixed company.) Next we turn to the page with the different kinds of strollers, and she tells me which one she likes. Then we turn to the diagram about swaddling, at which point we take a break from reading to repeatedly swaddle her teddy bear in her moon and stars blankey. Depending on how many swaddles we go through, I might let her also look at the page with the diagram of feeding solids. On this page, she points out all the messes that the baby has made, and asks me to clean them up.

I can just see myself 5 months from now trying to keep up with the needs of two newborns, with Carina constantly going "Mommy, so-and-so made a big mess! Clean up!" every time one of them spits up.

Glorious Sleep

I haven't been sleeping well for about a month now. The last week I've been sleeping on the couch because the cushions are softer for my hips. (For those not versed in pregnancy sleep, after a certain point you can't sleep on your back. Since the stomach is also out, obviously, you have side-only options for about 4-5 months in a normal pregnancy. I've been side-only since late June.) The couch isn't great, though, because the dogs have a tendency to stick their noses in my face when they want something. Plus, I have to switch ends to switch sides.

So a few days ago I ordered a memory foam matress topper and a new, expensive pregnancy body pillow in the hopes that I would be able to use my bed again. All-in-all, I spent about $200 on sleep aids, and I was hoping it would all be worth it. They arrived on Thursday and after 48 hours of airing the topper out to get rid of the chemical smell, I used both last night.

OH, MY GOD I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH! I actually slept decently last night. I still had to wrestle a body pillow around to turn over, and I had to get up to pee once. BUT, when I was asleep I was sleeping well. And I only had to turn over twice. I feel good this morning. Really good. Maybe I will actually make it through the next three months.

Gymnasitcs

Baby B is doing major gymnastics in my belly right now. I think he/she might be trying to turn over. I had a perinatal appointment today, and both babies are still looking good. Estimated weight is 1 lb 1oz each. Both my O/B and the perinatologist comment every time on how active the babies are. What can I say, all my kids were womb gymnists.

Carina really took to the talk we had about the babies coming out. She keeps asking now if they're coming out every time I make a comment about them. My hips are really hurting today from sleeping on my sides, and she asked if it was because the babies were kicking them. Maybe she does get this more than I thought!

I'm not working this Shuttle flight at all, so all the scrub drama isn't affecting my sleep schedule (thank God!). I have managed to get myself a whole parcel of potential new work to replace flight work in a very short time. Now I need to clear my backlog from earlier this summer so I can get to the new stuff.

Epic Belly: Episode II

Here's me in my purple-tie-dye-pregnant-lady-wifebeater. I took this picture last week before we left on vacation. I'm 20 weeks - halfway, or maybe a little more since they'll probably be early. I think I'm getting close to where I was at 7 months with Carina. I'm starting to have the back issues and sleep issues that were all in the third tri during my pregnancy with her. Anyone want to guess the final measure of my "waistline" when I deliver?



We're having a great time in Wyoming, where the weather is pleasant. Carina perks up every time we mention the word "cousins". She's having a great time with Caroline, and even Jackson is more interesting than he used to be. :)

Industry

I had an incredibly productive day today. In addition to working for 4 1/2 hours to produce the scrub data for tomorrow's launch attempt I went grocery shopping, hard boiled a dozen eggs (been meaning to do that for weeks - pregnant lady thing), cleared out everything except the furniture from our spare-soon-to-be-guest-bedroom, and went through three boxes of baby clothes sorting for size, utility, and obvious gender bias.

One thing that I discovered during this process is that Carina's great-Grandmother Sigvor has taught her well-remembered lessons about popping bubble wrap.

One other thing I discovered during the process is that after being stored for 2 years, any material that once came in contact with baby spit-up turns yellow. So, that's pretty much everything she wore for her first 6 months. Thus, this evening found me sitting on the floor in the laundry room with a pile of clothes and a bottle of spray-n-wash. Fortunately, most of the stains seem to have faded to at least an extent that is acceptable for dressing a kid that's just going to spit up on said clothing again. And again. And again.

Why did I sign up to do this newborn thing again? Oh, yeah - right. They all start out that way. And they smell like sweet nectar.

Except when they smell like sour milk and poop.

All this industriousness is a good thing because I am totally committed to moving Carina to the yellow room by the end of August. Presuming the Shuttle actually flies between now and then and that we actually get to take the week+ vacation to Wyoming that I'm hoping for, that doesn't leave us a lot of time. I basically got things set up today to where we just have to move furniture around between the three bedrooms and transfer Carina's stuff over. I ordered some cute Winnie-the-Pooh accessories from Target a few weeks ago, and I'm actually excited about how it will look.

Speaking of moving furniture, though, anyone want to volunteer to help Gavin with that sometime? I'm pretty sure I'll get yelled at if I even suggest helping, and a couple of the pieces are definite two-person jobs. I swear I'll vaccuum up that dead cockroach from corner of the unused room before you come.

Epic Belly: Episode I

I didn't take many belly pictures last pregnancy. I took 2 or 3 a few months apart. This time, though, it promises to be spectacular. Epic. So, without further ado, here is 16 weeks.



For comparison, I took this picture on February 10, 2007. I would have been somewhere around 24 weeks, people! Now I admit to having a bit more padding around the baby bump than I had the first time, but come on. Gavin's going to have to roll me out the door when I'm ready to go to the hospital with these.



On to more pleasant images. These are from my ultraxound on Tuesday. First, Twin A (first to be born).


Then Twin B.


Then both.


I've been feeling the babies move for about a week or two. Gavin can even feel some of the movements now. I guess there's less room in there! I just hope all the movement isn't being caused by "get back on your side". :)

Penetrating the Haze

I think I might be coming out of the first trimester haze - my 2nd trimester officially begins Friday. I probably would have noticed sooner if I hadn't spent the last week sleep shifting to graveyard shift for the Shuttle launch, unshifting after the scrub, reshifting for the 2nd attempt, and unshifting yet again after another scrub. Eesh. Anyway, I'm feeling suprisingly well tonight considering I haven't had a full, uninterrupted night's sleep since last Wednesday. Unfortunately, nausea is already being replaced with heartburn. Time to put the Tums in my purse.

I am amused at the blurb that showed up on my pregnancy calendar this morning. "You should soon be getting your appetite back..." Um, back? This is my typical eating schedule the last several weeks (when I'm being good and not substituting one of these fairly healthy snacks for a bowl of ice cream):

8:00 AM - Bowl of cereal, large glass of milk
10:00 AM - Yogurt
11:30 AM - Full lunch
2:30 PM - Fruit cup, 2 string cheese
4:00 PM - Crackers, pretzles, or granola bar
6:30 PM - Full dinner
10:00 PM - PB&J
4:00 AM (sometimes) - Pop tarts

In spite of all this eating, I've been doing pretty well with my weight gain. My bathroom scale hit 170 the other day, which is about 7 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. Much better than the last time when I jumped 10 lb in the first week I knew I was pregnant. That being said, I'm popping out about as much as I did with Carina 5-6 months in. Definately two babies in there.

One of these days I'll write about Disney World, but I guess I'm feeling the mundane tonight.

Day of Doctors

We jet off tomorrow for 5 days at Walt Disney World with my sister's family. I plan on leaving the laptop here and not checking my e-mail until we return on Monday! (Very exciting.) We're staying at the Caribbean Beach Resort on the property, and should be having a ball all week.

I'm exhausted from the pre-trip hoopla in addition to the all-day doctor visit marathon I ran today. I had an uneventful eye appointment in the morning. Early afternoon was an OB appointment. Both babies are still looking great at 10 1/2 weeks. Since the doctor couldn't pick up the heartbeats yet with the doppler, we got another ultrasound. We saw each of them move a bit, and both hearts are beating away. The photo is on my Flickr stream - Blogger seems to be having trouble posting it right now. The baby labled "A" will be born first.

I think I'm taking this whole high risk pregnancy thing to heart. I'm more nervous about this on than I was about the last one. I worried a bit with Carina, but I never really got nervous before an appointment that something would be wrong. I totally sighed in relief when I saw both those hearts beating today. They made us an appointment with a perinatologist (a doctor that specializes in high risk pregnancies) in a week just for an assessment. So, my saga of seeing doctors all the time will be continuing. It will be about that time that I may be getting an MRI on my hand as well. (I'll complain about that some other time.)

To round out the day of doctors, I took Carina to her 2 year appointment. After a slight false start in not realizing their office had moved, we had a very successful appointment. Carina was very cooperative with the doctor, and even smiled at her once or twice. The doctor says that you can usually double the height of the child at this age to figure out how tall they'll be as an adult. Carina is 37" tall. Do the math - that's 6'2"! Wow. Maybe she'll be the volleyball star I was never tall enough to be. :)

The Babies are Where?

I'm working in Mission Control the next day, or two, or Heaven forbid three. I'm here until we land, and the weather isn't looking like it's going to cooperate. Since I've been going home at 4:30 the last few days to take a nap, I thought I might be in trouble having to work until 8:30 tonight, but it turns out there's nothing like Important Space Business to keep you from feeling fatigue.

People keep asking me if Carina understands yet about the impending arrival of new babies onto the scene. Of course, she doesn't really. We've been trying to talk to her about the babies in Mommy's tummy, mainly in an effort to get her to be a bit careful with me. At first, she just looked at us like we were crazy, but she's starting to get used to the idea.

Gavin has started to ask her if she wants to kiss the babies good night. We can tell she doesn't completely have the idea, though, since she usually kisses my breasts instead of my stomach.

PSA

Nature is amazing. I've been having progressively worse "morning" sickness - what a misnomer! - for the last week. I was starting to get to the point where I was pretty miserable pretty much all day long. All I wanted to do most of the day was curl up in a ball and try to sleep. The doctor had told me at the last appointment that I should get some vitamin B6 tablets, becuase they often helped with the morning sickness. I didn't find time to get to the drug store until two days ago. I should have sent Gavin much earlier, because those pills are miracle workers. I still have a bad spell between about 4pm and 8pm, but that's much better than all day.

Incidentally, public service announcement from Gavin's foot in mouth library:

What not to say in the hearing of your pregnant wife...

"I sure hope Jen feels better soon. She's been feeling so bad she doesn't want to cook."

Pride Goeth Before the Fall

Friday afternoon, Gavin and I went to the doctor for the first pre-natal appointment for Baby-2. The appointment started by filling out forms ("Are you and the baby's father blood relatives?" - Uh, no.). Then we talked with the nurse about genetic screenings, what not to eat, hospital registration, delivery classes, and so forth. We were flying through the appointment, feeling very wise in our experience of having a baby already.

The doctor came in and started asking about my symptoms. I told him I was having pretty constant nausea, although it wasn't debilitating. I was tired, but no more than expected really. We talked a bit about my hand and what was going on there. Then he turned on the ultrasound, and in the middle of a thought broke off and said "Oh, look at you!"

Look at me, I'm thinking? Look at me what? That looks a bit different than I remember. Why is there a line down the middle? Is there a baby in there, or is something wrong? Is that...

"Did you see what I did?" he asked, as he backed out of the picture and started typing on the screen.

"I don't know... What did you see?" I hesitated. Still not really believing what was nagging at the back of my brain.

Gavin was a bit quicker on the uptake. "It's two, right?"

"Uh, huh." The doctor is typing Twin A / Twin B on to the screen.

My whole world shifted in that moment. TWINS. Two babies. At once. We need a bigger car. Another car seat. A bigger stroller. Another crib. OH, MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THREE KIDS!!!

Two days later, I'm still trying to really believe it and finding it easier to ignore the reality of it. On the other hand, it's been fun shocking people with the news. I feel pretty overwhelmed by the prospect, though. I will have 3 children under 3. I'm back on the pregnancy and parenting boards trying to figure out how people do this.

Coming Up For Air

So I hear from several people that I should be updating more. Especially after our big news last week. What can I say? Work has been I-N-S-A-N-E this month. I've been simming 3-4 days per week and trying to fit the close-to-launch data publications, meetings, and other duties as assigned into the remaining days. Not to mention that I am suddenly looking at a bunch more visits to the doctor(s) than I'm normally used to.

At home things are busy as well, especially considering the fact that once or twice a week my body decides it needs 12 hours of sleep instead of the normal 8. I had hoped I wouldn't be quite as fatigued this time - dream on, Jen.

I'm having all the normal first trimester stuff. I don't really think the first trimester is worse than the third, but you get a lot more sympathy in the third because everything bothering you is visible. Swollen ankles - visible. Big belly - visible. Painful gas and bloating - not visible. (Thankfully.)

My parents are coming down here Friday, and I'm very excited. Carina is so fun to show off right now. The verbal explosion is amazing to watch on a daily basis. She understands so much about the world around her. It's also nice to be able to start to talk about things that are bothering her rather than just doing the whine-cry thing. Don't get me wrong; she still does that. But, at least I can see the beginnings of reason.

Getting Crazier, In a Good Way

After my initial freak-out last week, things got even more interesting. I told the doctors that I wasn't on birth control, so as part of my pre-operative blood work they did a pregnancy test. See where this is going?

Yep, as of today, I am 4 weeks 5 days pregnant. I spent Friday frantically trying to get an appointment with my OB so we could discuss the procedure I was scheduled to have and all the drugs I was taking. I managed to get in, and he changed my antibiotic, but generally reassured me I shouldn't worry too much about the one I had been on. He also told me to get the procedure done, as he didn't want to deal with an infected hand later in the pregnancy. It was so early, he couldn't really even do much else, even to confirm the viability of the pregnancy.

Normally I would have waited a bit longer to publish the news on the blog, but since I blurted out the news to a couple co-workers on Friday while explaining why I was flaking on my sim to go to the doctor RIGHT NOW, I guess the cat is kind of out of the bag. Hopefully, all will be well, and if not I think I will want to have this outlet anyway. I'm already having daily nausea and needing lots of sleep, so I guess those are good signs. :P

So I had my little procedure yesterday. I have to say, it was one of the nicer ORs I think I've ever seen. The office is in an office building near South Shore Marina, so I was looking out a glass wall at boats moored on the docks. They only put me totally under for a few minutes. Just long enough to get a hefty local into my hand.

The incisions were smaller than I had feared, and seem to be healing well already. Other than the fact that apparently the only way to keep a bandage on a hand is to wrap the whole thing up, it's all pretty good. They only removed the three that were still tender to the touch, as he didn't want to go digging all over the place. So it is possible I'll have to have more removed in the future.